


Mistake?

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Cry for help, F/M, Kissing, No Exposition, True Need
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 14:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13706145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He learned his lesson and made peace with himself. Now he wants to learn how to live. Could she be what he needs? And does she need him?





	Mistake?

"I would wager on my bow against your rifle any day."

"That would be the last mistake you ever made."

He faced a loaded rifle and she faced a drawn arrow. Merely a step separated the weapons from touching. Their wielders faced off on this rooftop in the middle of the night, only illuminated by the surrounding city lights. It was enough for him to see.

Hanzo looked into yellow eyes. Artificial, no doubt, but there was beauty in them. Pictures, music, sculptures bore the property of being artificial as well, yet they were perfectly able to create real feelings in the mind of the observer. So why would it be wrong to call artificial eyes beautiful?

A small smile crept onto his face, but he kept the bow drawn. No matter whether she was born with these eyes - or whether somebody put them there - calling them beautiful could not possibly taint anybody's conscience.

"Maybe," Hanzo murmured. Dry, dark streaks were smeared across the muzzle of the rifle. This weapon had been shot before today. It would not shoot again. She would not pull the trigger. He was sure of it. Just as he did not kill his brother when he first met him again in their old home. Just as he did not release his arrow right now. "All I know is, that it is a mistake to point a weapon at you," he claimed, lowering his bow, "for such beauty would go wasted on a meaningless kill."

Widowmaker snorted with laughter and kept aiming at Hanzo. "I don't care for such foolish flattery," she stated. It was supposed to sound cold, emphasizing her inability to feel. Some moments ago this might have been a valid attempt. Hanzo couldn't help but notice though, that this short claim had been spoken with such a subtle, yet present trembling in her voice. If the cold was to blame, then why could she steady the rifle as if it was cast into cement?

He made a bold step towards her. A fist could barely fit between the barrel and his chest now. Confidence or not, his heart started racing. She watched him approach without even slightly flinching, focussed like a statue. He did not dare to break eye contact when he put the arrow back into the quiver on his back, shouldering the now useless bow. The moment felt unstable. Hanzo knew, he had a fine line to balance if he wanted to hold onto this fragile, almost non-existent connection between them.

"Do you truly wish to feel nothing for the rest of your life?" he asked with a deep and careful voice. If she really felt nothing, then why did she suddenly squint into a forced grimace? An emotionless machine would have just pulled the trigger and disposed of the menace, that was him.

But she hesitated, she did not want to decide. So instead he chose to make a move. Gently, not forcing any movement out of her, he touched her left forearm with his hand. For a second he believed to grab an icicle. She was so cold and it made him feel genuine pity. Carefully he closed his fingers around her arm, applying next to no pressure. It was surely something refreshing for the mind to see a beauty in this unusual color. But to the touch she resembled a corpse. Hanzo couldn't help but gasp silently. He forbid himself to feel any sort of disgust. She was not a corpse! It was dishonorable to treat her like one.

Her eyelids shut at the touch. Finally, the slight tremor in her voice extended to her grip. The tip of the barrel was shaking lightly. "Is it necessary to do this to me?" she asked, not quite opening her eyes yet.

Hanzo was not sure what he expected, but her question surprised him. "I do not understand," he exclaimed, frowning.

"Of course you don't!" she spat lowly between her teeth. "You are not the first one to try and 'bring me back'," Widowmaker put venom into the last words and dropped her head a little where she finally opened her eyes. Hanzo could almost taste the rage radiating from her gaze. "There is a reason why Amélie needed to die. Nobody of you understands why I don't want to bring her back!"

Widowmaker had screamed the last part and rammed a knee into his guts. Sharply inhaling he dropped to his knees, holding his stomach. The pain stung. Usually he would have tried to recover fast and retaliate the blow, but he did not. He forced himself to breathe and looked up.

She had not bothered to pick up the rifle she had dropped during the kick. Instead she just gazed at him, fists clenched and her jaw working.

"Enlighten me then, help me understand!" Hanzo pressed slowly, the pain still taking up effort to cope. Widowmaker turned her head sideways a bit at the unexpected request, but did not change in her actions otherwise. Hanzo noticed and seized the chance.

"If you don't want to get better then I will not attempt to change you," he forced himself to stand up, but was not ready to let go of his aching stomach yet, "I did not want to forgive myself for killing my brother either, even after he turned out not to be dead," Hanzo turned away from Widowmaker, staring into the night, but did not interrupt his little tale. "Eventually I did though. We met multiple times, talked about everything. In the end I was able to accept I could not change the past." He faced her again, she was not looking at him, but rather at the city lights like he did a second ago. "I was hurting myself because I was not confident enough to face reality. Shutting myself off felt much easier."

They just stood there in silence. Widowmaker had stopped chewing on nothing, but did not cease clenching her fists tightly. Hanzo knew she would not speak, so after a moment of silence he picked up the words again.

"In hindsight, it would have been easier if I had somebody to support me. This is the bottom line of what I am trying to tell you."

Her fists stopped clenching and her jaw was moving again. For a second Hanzo had hope that he had come through to her, but she did not meet his gaze and did not speak up. Disappointed he looked down. At least he had tried.

"You will never see me again, I promise," Hanzo said as he started to walk past her to reach the door on the other side of the roof. The pain in his stomach had become bearable enough to walk. A pity, such a beauty was wasted upon the soul of a killer. A killer who did not choose her path and was now forced to stay on it. Hanzo contemplated to brush her hand with his, as he passed her, but decided not to. It was inappropriate and he did not come here to mock a woman.

With widened eyes he had to ask himself, why all of a sudden he felt a tight grip around the hand he swore to keep away from her. It made him stop in his tracks. She had grabbed his hand and judging by the force she was using, she was trying her hardest to force him to stay.

"Could you give me a moment?" Her voice was barely a whisper. Hanzo squeezed the hand back in agreement. He took a step back, so he could see her again. She avoided his gaze and kept looking at the city.

If he could only slow time down, he could write a story from looking at her face alone. Like a crack in pack ice, her impassive face started trembling. Evidently she was trying to stay collected, but tears started pooling in her eyes. As if it was her default response, her jaw started chewing on bare teeth again. Hanzo did not dare to interfere. Something in Widowmaker was changing. Something was surfacing.

Amélie was surfacing.

She let go of his hand and just let herself fall against him. She pulled her arms in, so she could cover her face with her hands as she sunk into his chest. She was sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her immediately.

"It hurts so much to remember what they made me do. I never wanted to kill anybody! Never wanted to kill him! I never, never, never wanted to kill!"

Cries and tears interrupted her outburst periodically. Hanzo only gently stroked her bare back where his hands ended up. In this moment slight anger started swelling up in him. He himself chose to walk around with half his upper body uncovered, because he could wield his bow better that way. However the people who designed her suit did not leave that much body uncovered for functional reasons. They had just dressed up their doll in clothes to fuel their own dirty minds. He reminded himself that now was not the time to tackle that particular problem.

"I asked them to make it stop," she continued, "and they did. They made me stop caring about all of it. Every time somebody breaks it, everything comes back and I cannot stand the pain."

Unexplicably, Amélie started to thrash violently against Hanzo. "Why did you have to come here and break it again? Why did you make me care again?" She was not controlling her wild flailing, but that made it easier for Hanzo to grab her wrists and hold them tight so she wouldn't hit him.

Their eyes met again. Black streaks ran down her cheeks. The tears had ruined her makeup. Hanzo suppressed a sarcastic laugh. 'Get rid of her feelings but leave her vanity,' he observed and realized, that this way they did not need to pretty up their doll themselves. She would do it out of her own volition. Hanzo suppressed his anger once again. If he truly wanted to help her, he needed to get through to her first.

"Do you truly wish to feel nothing for the rest of your life?" he reiterated. "Would you rather throw every feeling away, than fighting for the few emotions that make life worth living? The ones that truly make you feel alive?"

Amélie had stopped trying to wriggle out of Hanzo's tight grip around her wrists, but she was looking at him with an outraged face. "They gave me an outlet. Killing made me feel alive!" she claimed.

"Did it feel genuine to you?" Hanzo asked. She looked so beautiful, even though she was at her worst.

"What was I supposed to compare it with? It felt genuine eno...umf!"

Even her lips were ice cold, yet so alive. Surely his imagination was playing tricks, but her scent reminded him of the cherry blossoms at home. Her lips were as soft as he remembered the blossoms as well. Maybe it was a mistake to kiss her, but Hanzo had tried long enough with words now. She did not back away, but he still contemplated breaking the kiss, because she was not responding to it.

Until she did. She opened her mouth and let his tongue caress hers. The salt from her lips and the sweet taste of her mouth unwinded his soul, making him release a deep grumble. Kissing her was the perfect choice.

Even inside her mouth she was ice cold, but it did not make him back away. It drew him closer instead. He let go of her wrists and put one hand on the small of her back and the other on the back of her head. Once he felt her shaky hands on his own back, he pulled her in tightly.

Seconds or years passed for him. At some point he broke the kiss. She kept her eyes closed, biting her lower lip. The occasional hiccup was what remained from her crying. Hanzo put his forehead on hers and looked at her eyes, patiently waiting for her to open them. The yellow gems were even more stunning up close.

"Do you feel more alive from killing than right now?" he asked.

"I don't want to find out!" she said, dropping her gaze. "They will make me kill again though."

"Only if they can kill me first!" Hanzo stated sternly, never dropping his own gaze.

"I cannot ask this from you." Amélie still did not dare to look into Hanzo's eyes.

"Don't make the same mistake I did, locking yourself away, Amélie!"

Her eyes shot up and she looked at him again. Seconds passed as she tried to collect herself enough to breathe in and out without shaking. Eventually she gave up and just let her voice tremble and squeak naturally.

"Can you help me learn to live again, Hanzo?"

He dropped his gaze, but started to smile. Genji would be proud of him, and to be completely honest, it felt good to give back to people who could use his help, especially when they were having the perk of being so beautiful. He looked her in the eyes again and raised a hand to her cheek, gently stroking the tears out of her face.

"Let us learn to live again, together!"


End file.
